Mentor Mama:
Today we are going to be talking about how God provides help even when mountains seem unmovable. I think it's safe to say that most of us have faced uncertain moments in our lives or found ourselves in hard places that we didn't expect or even want. Those moments can be scary, lonely, and hard to handle on our own. Our guest today, Kathy Hutto, knows firsthand of those experiences of life-changing, out-of-control events and how God was faithful to see her through a tough season and he's still leading her today. Kathy will share with us her story and how we can be sure that God is always faithful even when life suddenly twists and turns in directions we didn't intend to go. But first a word from our sponsor.
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Mentor Mama:
Kathy Hutto is a Christian mom and degreed educator with over 25 years of experience teaching and homeschooling. She has written over 200 resources for kids and families. Her articles have appeared in Lifeway’s Journey magazines, Lifeway Kids, The Old Schoolhouse magazines, Christian Living in the Mature Years magazine, Guideposts, and more. She has been a single homeschooling mom since 2012. Both kids are now in college. Her best friend is Jesus and he has proven over and over that he is enough. Please welcome Kathy. So nice to have you.
Kathy Hutto:
Hello. Nice to be here.
Mentor Mama:
Welcome.
Kathy Hutto:
Thank you.
Mentor Mama:
Kathy, let's start out by telling me about your journey to becoming single.
Kathy Hutto:
Well, 10 years ago, my husband came home from work and he called me into our bedroom and he spoke two words to me that seemed to just instantly cancel the two that he'd spoken to me at the alter 17 years earlier. The two words this time, instead of I do, were, I'm done, and he was, he was done. He was just done and that was the end of it. He left and that was 10 years ago this year and so, I'm a single homeschooling mom now, but I was a homeschooling mom then also with no job at the time so I didn't know what we were going to do. I knew that the Lord put on my heart to homeschool my children, but it was very uncertain and I was not sure early on what we were going to do or what the future was going to look like, but God was so faithful and I love any opportunity that I have to brag on him because I can tell you story after story of his provision through all of those times. All of a sudden, I'm a single mom with children, and no job, and had been homeschooling them their whole lives. They were eight and 10 at the time. So, during those uncertain times though God really showed up and he really provided right out of the gate I heard about a tutoring opportunity. We have a huge KIA manufacturing plant where I live in Georgia and a lot of the women’s husbands work for the KIA plant, they would come to this church and they'd want to be tutored. And so right early on, I just started bringing my kids and we would go to the church throughout the week and we would tutor ESL to Korean moms, and then in the afternoons, I'd come back and tutor their children too after school. So God provided. Then just shortly after that, you know, kind of getting through that early period God provided a job at my church where I had served as the preschool ministry director. I served there for seven years and the first thing that the preschool minister at our church said was, you can homeschool, bring the kids. And so, God allowed me to continue to homeschool and provided for our needs. So, it was a very uncertain time, but God always came through every single time. It doesn't make sense on paper, but every bill, every need, he always provided. So, he was just such a support and he still is and so, I just encourage everybody to just understand that even though things can get shaken and feel unstable or really unsettled and shocking things happen but it doesn't have to shake you because God is right there with you through whatever you face.
Mentor Mama:
Wow, Kathy, I can't imagine the pain that you experienced when your husband came home that day, but truly God has seen you through every single step of the way. What a blessing. You probably wondered, how am I even going to get through the next day? But yet he's carried you through years now.
Kathy Hutto:
Yes, absolutely.
Mentor Mama:
What was the best advice you received early on?
Kathy Hutto:
So early on, and remember, I'm a homeschool mom and just a home stay-at-home mom homeschooling. My bubble of friends and the people that I usually was around were not divorced. I had just a bubble of homeschool friends, all my church friends, so it was very embarrassing to think that my husband left me. I didn't want to tell anybody. In fact, I was praying that this all went away before anybody had to know. So, I just didn't tell anybody, except for one lady that her husband had left, but he had come back over time. He had come back. So I went to this one friend that I knew of, and I said, what should I do? And what I wanted from her was like a step-by-step, how to get your husband back plan, but what she said to me was just the absolute, best advice I've ever received. She just simply said two more words and these seem to be the antidote for the two I'd just been delivered. She said, read Psalms and so that's what I did. I devoured them. I read them, and I wrote them in my journal. I memorized them, and on extremely trying nights, I went to bed with my head on Psalms, like a pillow. Psalms were such a balm to me; a comfort and I really fell in love with the Lord and his word in those Psalms. I could just relate to David and his honesty and just how raw he is and so that was really the best advice that I received.
Mentor Mama:
That is incredible. I've never really thought of using the Psalms in terms of sort of a healing plan. That's beautiful. I love the Psalms as well. So that was kind of what your Bible time then was like, reading the Psalms. How about your prayer life?
Kathy Hutto:
I'm a daughter of a Southern Baptist minister, so I've always known that we need to read our Bible and we need to pray. Thank the Lord that I grew up knowing the importance of that, but it was more of a discipline for such a long time. It was a discipline. And so, when this happened, when something happens that kind of shocks you, it kind of makes you stop, and it kind of makes you reboot or refocus. And so, it kind of stopped me in my tracks and that discipline became a desire. I need this, I need this, I need this, which has since turned into a delight and I know that's something that Coffee and Bible Time try to teach us that we need to delight in God's word and that's exactly what happened through this. I like to say I fell in love with Jesus when my husband fell out of love with me. I already knew Jesus as my Savior, but my Bible and my prayer time became so personalized. This is the Bible that I was using through those hard times. So, my once pristine, very nice, and neat Bible became marked up, dog-eared, highlighted clippings. It's falling apart. I had to get a new one because it's absolutely just falling apart, but his word became life to me. It became everything to me and let me go back and say because I did know already that Bible reading and prayer time was so important, I had the foundation there and that is my advice to anybody, get that foundation there so that when you are shocked by something the world throws at you, you're not shaken. The foundation was there, I knew where to turn, and I just turned really hard and heavy into the Word. So, that's what really my Bible time was like and my prayer life too. My prayer life was a little more formal back in the days before this, I prayed every day, but I was talking to God as my father, but through this, I mean, literally he became my best friend. So, I began to speak to him like my best friend, just like in the Psalms, David doesn't mince words, he puts it out there and so before maybe God was like the principal of a school type person in my mind, and now he became a very best and beloved friend. I learned how to pray using Scripture and added in fasting and fervency all through this. I hate to say this and it sounds really weird, but I wouldn't trade now what I've gone through, even the struggles for what I know now and what I've learned, and how close I am with the Lord. It's just been such an amazing thing. So that's kind of a little peek into my Bible and prayer life these days.
Mentor Mama:
I've heard that so many times over and over again. People talk about their trials and disappointments and things and how they wouldn't trade it in because God moved so powerfully in their lives during that time. Kathy, tell us about how I’m sure, you were praying for reconciliation. Tell us about that. What happened and how God moved.
Kathy Hutto:
Yes, definitely. I knew what the Bible said about marriage. I knew what the Bible said about divorce, and I knew that God hated divorce and I knew that I made that marriage covenant to God, as much as I made it to my husband. I made that marriage covenant, that commitment, that covenant to God, and it was non-breakable. So, I knew I had the fight of my life on my hands because he wanted to break that covenant; I did not. Now it would've been difficult if he had come back, I just knew it would be hard, but I knew that if I did what God had asked me to do, he would be faithful to bless that and help me through no matter what. So, I did, I prayed fervently, fasted and prayed, and did everything I knew to do step, step, step to pray for reconciliation and to stand on that marriage covenant and that's what I tell people today. I say fight for your marriage. Don't stray, pray. Stay and pray because if God raised dead Lazarus, he can raise your dead marriage. So I, 100% had the confidence to know that God could answer this prayer. There was no doubt, no doubt, more than a mustard seed faith, I had complete faith that God could do it. So, seven years into praying and fasting and believing, it was another shock when he remarried and not me. He remarried someone out seven years in, but I had spent all that time really standing on that marriage covenant, believing that I needed to do everything I could to keep that covenant with the Lord and with my husband. So, it was a little surprising then when the Lord didn't answer that prayer. Sometime before that though, I was in the middle of a fast and I had been fasting and praying just fervently as I had been all this time and the Lord just spoke to me and he said to me, very clearly, I will do what I will do. And so, I kind of ended the fast right there, just right on the spot. I felt like, you know, I can trust God with this. I'm trying to get him to respond by doing all these things on the list. Just like I know I need to but God very clearly said, I will do what I will do and so I just kind of surrendered it to the Lord. I continued to pray and fast and stand, but I knew that it was in the Lord’s hand whether he moved the mountain or whether he didn't. He didn't move the mountain, but I'm here to say that he held my hand as we walked all the way around it, through that whole journey. My very favorite verse is Isaiah 41:10, which says, fear not, I'm with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. So he didn't move that mountain, but he definitely walked me around it. Why didn't he? I don't know. I do know, that God is always good and Psalm 84:11 says, no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly. I knew that I was walking and following after what I believed God wanted me to do and so, the reason that he didn't move the mountain, I'm not sure, but I can only know that it was probably not going to be a good thing for me and I think that as a result, he's used opportunities like this one for me to be able to encourage other women going through this as well and just give him praise and glory for his goodness to us through all these years.
Mentor Mama:
Truly Kathy you're such a great example of someone who didn't turn bitter because this devastating experience could have made you bitter, but you can just see the love of Christ shining through you and I'm sure you are such an encouragement to others. Knowing that this was so hard for you, how did you get through this with your kids? How did you encourage them? How old were they? Tell us about that.
Kathy Hutto:
They were at the time 8 and 10, I have a boy and a girl and now they are 18 and 20 and both in college, but at the time though, you know, our children are our hearts. Our children are our main focus, so I wanted to make sure they were okay. You know, the Bible says, love your neighbor as yourself, well, your children are also your neighbor, so they need to be put first. So, I tried to really focus on them. And so, well let me say at the beginning though, God's grace is sufficient. His grace is sufficient for whatever we face, but I did do the very best I could to keep our routines the same. That was very important to me. I was an educator in public school before my children were born before I homeschooled them, so I could see kind of how divorce affected children. So I just wanted to keep everything as much the same as I could. I wanted to be the solid rock. You know, one parent I felt needed to be very stable and be that support for them so that things didn't seem unsettled or shifty to them. And so I kept our routines as much the same as possible. I didn't burden them with information about, you know, how am I going to pay the bills or what are we going to eat tonight for dinner? All of those little things they didn't need to know. I didn't talk bad about their dad; they didn't need that. They didn't need that burden. They didn't need that extra baggage to carry. So, I used wisdom in what I shared. I did want them to see God's provision. So there were times when I would share something and we would use it to pray and then we would see God respond. So, it was a faith-growing opportunity, but I had to use wisdom about what I shared with them so that they didn't have unnecessary baggage or burdens on them and I just prayed. They were gone every other weekend and I didn't go anywhere and I'm not saying people should do this, this was just me. But those times were spent praying for them, praying for them where they were. And so, I just really put that focus on really just praying for them and we've seen God move, we've seen things happen for them on some of those vacation times or things that where God responded and answered our prayers and it was just an amazing thing to see, but now they are 18 and 20, both in college, they both serve in the church. They love Jesus and they have their own prayer life and Bible time and really deep with the Lord and solid and so, that's why I say God's grace is sufficient. Because if you look back at all we've endured and experienced and they've had to do and see, a lot of kids, it just really does shake their world, but by God's grace, if you continue following and following faithfully God will help your children as grace is sufficient for them as well.
Mentor Mama:
Absolutely. That should be so encouraging to anyone out there who's experiencing a similar struggle, just your steadiness and continuing their Christian education and raising them up in the Lord and just helping them get through that experience in a stable environment had such a tremendous impact on them. How about other people? How important were other people to your journey?
Kathy Hutto:
Well, other people were huge, but like I was saying early on, I didn't want to tell anybody because I was embarrassed that my husband left me. It was devastating and I didn't want anybody to know because I was really hoping that it would all go away before everybody had to know and so I didn't tell anybody, but once another friend came to me one day and she said, I know something's going on and you don't have to tell me, but I can just tell you're different and she said, I want you to know I'm praying for you. You don't have to say a thing, but I'm praying for you. So right after that, I was invited to a little small Bible study group of women, six of us that would meet in the home of that lady and then there were others, it was not her, but it was that little group of friends. One of those ladies had us all over into her home on Wednesday night after church and we could bring our kids. And so, my kids loved it because their kids were there. So they all had playtime and we had some prayer time. So that very first meeting, we went around the table, and we all had an index card. We were going to write down everybody's prayer needs so we could pray through the week. And so, in my mind, I'm saying, as they're all taking their turn, just say unspoken, just say unspoken, but when it got to my turn, I just blurted out, I think my marriage is over, and the arms and hugs and the comfort of the Lord flooded over me. That was just such an amazing time. I'm still very good friends with all of those ladies we meet now and then still, but for years we just met and that encouragement of the little group of six women was just so huge during that time, during that really dark and hard time for me. So, I didn't do it really, God did it. I like to say, all along this journey, God has put people in my place to help and encourage me. I didn't have to go out and tell everybody, he kind of put that together. There have been times when I didn't know how we were going to pay a bill and God would put it on the heart of someone to give us a check or one time a chicken pot pie from a friend showed up on our doorstep and she didn't know anything at that time that was going on, but God provided that over and over and over. I don't know if you've read the book, “The Christmas Jars,” but we got a Christmas Jar. One Christmas someone had filled up two jars with money and coins for Christmas. It was just God-provided. That was just an anonymous thing. God provided. I didn't have to broadcast it, I didn't have to tell anybody, God did it. God knew. And so, he provided, but other people were his hands and feet and it was amazing to see. And that's why our coffee and Bible time are so important because we need to be listening to see if God is telling us that we need to be his hands and feet that we need to go and do. And I'm so grateful for people that were listening and were the hands and feet of God all these many years.
Mentor Mama:
Oh, absolutely. I can't emphasize enough the power and the importance of being in some type of a small group, Bible study group, I've been in one for over 20 years. The members change each year, some are the same, some are different, but just knowing that you have that group of people that you can do Bible study with, that you can share your prayer requests and that people care and follow up. It's just so powerful and I'm just truly thankful and I can see that you are too, what a blessing that you had those other ladies to surround you and how God just provided in miraculous ways, really for all of your needs.
Mentor Mama:
Kathy, what encouragement would you give to single moms?
Kathy Hutto:
Well, I would encourage them by saying that God sees you, God sees you. He sees you and I'm going to just read my favorite verse, Isaiah 41:10, and I also like 13 and it says, fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. And then verse 13 says, for I, the Lord, your God, hold your right hand. It is I who say to you, fear not, I am the one who helps you. I guess I would encourage them that God will help them. Now I remember going through some of those court dates where you're having to go through this divorce process and I remember just having that verse written out in my pocket and then squeezing my hand, just thinking about God holding my hand. I looked down one time on one of those court dates and my hand was purple because I had been squeezing it so hard, but I was just thinking about God holding my hand, and that's exactly what he did for me. That is exactly what he will do for you, just faithfully follow him and he will respond and he will bless you and he will help you and keep you, so you might be shocked, but do not be shaken that God is right there with you. And, and I think that's what I would encourage people to know.
Mentor Mama:
Those passages are beautiful. Thank you for sharing those. Kathy, you have an amazing ministry yourself—your website, tell everybody if you can just a little bit about what you have and all the resources that you have and how people can find out more information about you.
Kathy Hutto:
Oh, thank you. Well, I have a website it's kathyahutto.com and I just put out whatever, it's just a mod podge of a lot of things. But for the most part, I am a teacher and that is what the Lord has provided now that my children are in college. I am full-time teaching again online. And so, I just really put a lot of those resources to help homeschool moms or any moms, single moms, not single moms, any kind of just moms at home with their littles to have some resources to use, to teach their children. I also have a lot of resources I've written for our church that I just kind of put on there too, for missions trips or Sunday school or Bible studies for preteens, kind of just whatever we're doing. I kind of just put it on there. So hopefully people can find something that is useful to them.
Mentor Mama:
They absolutely will. You have some really cute tips, educational tips, that make learning fun. So that's awesome. Kathy, I want to ask you some of our favorite Bible study tool questions here with each of our guests. So let's start with, what Bible do you use and which translation is it?
Kathy Hutto:
Well, I have it right here and this is the upgraded version of my falling apart one, but it is the MacArthur Study Bible, the John MacArthur Study Bible. I believe that John MacArthur's notes, I can trust. I'm very careful about what I use, but this has, of course, John MacArthur's notes at the bottom, and this is an ESV translation. Early on, I used The New King James but now I'm using the ESV. That's what our pastor preaches from and my children's youth director has used and we all have, so I like us all to be on the same page. So that's really the Bible version that I use right now, but I like them all when I'm studying, but that's the one I use for my daily readings.
Mentor Mama:
Ah, that's excellent. That's actually the one my husband has as well. That's a great Bible in ESV for those that are listening, it’s a very, very solid translation. Do you have any favorite journaling supplies that you like to use to enhance your Bible study experience?
Kathy Hutto:
Well, I am a Coffee and Bible Time girl and have been for years, so I have the highlighters you've recommended. I have the post-it notes and I have a little pad to tear off with my washi tape, so I have all of the little tapes that you've recommended. I have some chalks that I use to kind of draw, so it's really all of your recommendations. That's what I use and I love it, my Bible is very colorful. It's new, this new one is becoming more colorful, but yes, highlighted and marked up and has all my notes taped in and have all my post-it notes. So that's really what I use. All the Coffee and Bible Time suggestions.
Mentor Mama:
Thank you so much. That's awesome. What is your favorite app or website for Bible study tools.
Kathy Hutto:
I like the Bible App that's on my phone and I've done a lot of the little Bible studies that you can do on that and you can link with your kids. I don't know if people know that, but you and your kids can start a Bible study together and you can kind of see each other's progress and encourage each other. So, we do that, the Bible app, on our phones, and they send out a daily verse every day and it texts it to me, so that's kind of fun too, to receive. I use a lot of websites, you know when I'm doing my major in-depth study when I'm writing something, but I think that would be my number one favorite app.
Mentor Mama:
Awesome. Yeah, that's a great one. The YouVersion Bible app.
Kathy Hutto:
YouVersion, yes.
Mentor Mama:
And you brought up some great features that I don't think anyone's talked about before and that is being able to share and do a Bible study together with other people that you can connect up with on there. That's so cool. Kathy, thank you so much for being here today to share your inspiring story and just reminding us that God is always faithful and will never leave us even in our darkest moments. And for our readers visit Kathy at her website, kathyahutto.com to learn more about her and where you can find so many resources on homeschooling and Bible studies for kids and preteens. And you can please share your comments in the comments section of this blog. And finally, head over to the Coffee and Bible Time website for our prayer journals that will help guide and document your prayer life at coffeeandbibletime.com. Thank you so much for joining us on our blog today. We love you all have a blessed day.
Thank you for sharing. Your story is very inspiring to me.