Ashleys Journal. Entry #1

Hey Friend,

It has been on my heart recently to start writing blogs - specifically journal entry blogs. When I open my journal, clasp my favorite pen, and play my favorite worship song, words spill from my heart onto the pages of my journal like a flowing stream. I confess, I am not the best writer. I won't win any awards. I misspell words. My grammar is lacking at times. There are moments when I can't articulate what my heart is feeling. Other times what I write only makes sense to me. And that's okay. Because I don't write for the approval of man, but for God. I write that I might glorify Him. I write that I may fulfill the calling of creativity that is flowing within my bloodstream. I write to try and put into words all that God is doing within my heart. I write because it brings me so much joy and draws me closer to my Father. 

I am posting this (and any other journal entry I post) for the glory of God. That He may be lifted high. That He may be the center of every poem, every paragraph, every word. 

I am also posting this for you. Yes you. If you are reading this right now, I am specifically writing this to you. I may not know you personally, but God sure does. It is no coincidence that you are reading this right now. I hope that you would be encouraged by my writing. I hope and pray that God would use my journal entries so that you may be encouraged in your walk with God. Please, friend, turn your eyes to Jesus. He is ENOUGH. He is EVERYTHING. He is the LIGHT of my life. He is the reason I write, the reason I sing, the reason I dance, the reason I paint, the reason I love! He is the motivation behind any ounce of creativity I have. He is the reason for any kindness and gentleness I have within me. He is the reason I am who I am today. I pray that He would be your everything and the reason you write, sing, dance, talk, paint, draw, take photos, and anything else you do! 

Journal Entry #1: 

The other day, I was on my college campus walking back to my dorm. I couldn't help but see certain cliques beginning to form. The semester just started, and friendship groups were starting to form.

I noticed that many of the "beautiful" people had formed a group. In life, I've noticed that generally the people who look beautiful or popular to the world tend to cling together. So do the nerds, so do the artists, and so on. It hurt my heart a little to think that I probably wouldn't be accepted or fit into a group of "beautiful" people like them, or at least that's what I thought. 

And then I took time to think deeply about this. Why did I feel like I was missing out? Why did I feel ugly when looking at that "popular" group of students? Why did I wish I was "beautiful" like them? Why did I want to be apart of a friend group just because of they way they looked when I had a stunningly beautiful, kind-hearted, goofy, one-in-a-million group of girl-friends already?

Then I thought about if I were in a group just for looks and popularity... I WOULD HATE THAT! I want to wear sweatpants and a messy bun without caring about what everyone thinks of me! I want to be my crazy self without the stress of wondering what others may be thinking of me. I want to laugh (exposing my double chin) with confidence! :) 

My focus was all wrong. God quickly helped re-align my heart back to His truth. When my eyes re-focused on Jesus and off the world, I realized just how self-centered and ugly my thoughts had been. I wanted to look good and beautiful to the world. I wanted to be "popular" and experience that feeling of having everyone like me. BUT GOD'S KINGDOM IS COMPLETELY OPPOSITE. Jesus didn't care what the heck people thought of Him. He did things for the approval of His Father ALONE. 

I want to be a woman who cherishes and cultivates her inner character. I want to be a woman who values dignity, kindness, love, strength, joy, and a heart that reflects Jesus. I want to be a woman who values others above herself, and doesn't care if no-one but her Heavenly Father sees her. 

I want to remember that this life is fading away so fast day by day. I want to make sure that while I am here for this short period of time, I don't value things that are fading away... but things that are eternal. 

That was the inspiration of my poem :) 

I hope and pray it would inspire and help you!

It’s all vain. It’s all fleeting. Everyday is passing by like a train before my eyes.

So why for a second lose my focus on what’s most important?

I could be here today and gone tomorrow.

Meaningless. Meaningless. All of it.

To take my eyes off Christ is not worth the temporal satisfaction of this ever changing color fading life.

I am but a vapor here today and gone tomorrow.

I am a wild flower budding, blooming, blowing away.

I am the wink of an eye, a subtle sigh, a wave goodbye.

To lose sight of Jesus would mean to lose sight of everything. My life is not my own, to Him I belong. Until Jesus calls me home, May I bring glory to Him all day long.

All glory to God!

Love, 

Ashley